Book Review:It Ends With Us,  Colleen Hoover

I remember watching a drama series on one of the Pakistani TV channels that went about the same story line; domestic abuse,  physical abuse, male domination in a marriage & the questions even best of psychologists cannot answer, why do women stay in an abusive relationship? Or more important,  the thought this book so well makes you ponder over,  why do women forget their limits for accepting certain abusive behaviors coming from the men they love, or feel obliged to love? 

For ages I kept on believing it’s just our Pakistani women,  staying in abusive relationships because of cultural and social pressure, and the notion we hear from our mothers “all husbands are like this. You should control your attitude and not make him angry.” but after reading this book, it hit me that staying in an abusive relationship is not out of social or cultural pressure, it’s a choice,  a choice most of us consciously make. A woman,  no matter which part of the world she comes from, is equally foolish in love. No matter she is living in a small village in tribal areas of Pakistan or studying at Harvard. Women everywhere are susceptible to the same emotional turmoil and self inflicted emotional pain. 

Coming back to the review, the book makes you question alot of things you know or want to know better. Lily comes from a family where her mother sets the wrong standards for her. When she met the charming Ryle,  and god charming he is! She accepts the standards her mother had set for a marriage and stays put until she realises she doesn’t want the same for a very strong reason. The story is extremely predictable but the twists and wordplay is remarkable.  

There is a lesson for all of us. The life we live is going to be the life our children will choose to live. The marriage we show them as an example is the kind of marriage they will settle for. Apart from everything, this book says a lot about women who forget their limits.  The limits every woman has in her mind, for acceptable behavior from the man she loves. It starts with one slap, then goes to two slaps, to beatings and then burns and broken bones. Never lose sight of your limits,  no matterhow much you love him. 

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