She missed him like a drowning man desperately misses the ability to inhale without having his lungs bursting. She missed him in ways that could not be explained. She would walk out of the places where she over indulged herself into things that would keep her brain and thoughts so occupied she’d literally be losing pieces of her mind within hours, and she would walk out of those places only to look at the tall trees wavering their leaves in windy nights, to take long lonely walks to think about him and what he’d be doing. She missed him and always wondered if he ever thought about her too. If he looked at the tall trees wavering their leaves high up in the air, on a very windy night, and thought about her too. She would never know. She would never ask. And he would never admit. She spends days and nights just wondering if every other thing around him reminds him of her too, just the way it reminds her of him. She would never know.
The most painful thing, after all, is to not know whether they loved you enough to miss you or are you “gone” enough for them to forget you.